So Confused

I think I am just getting more and more confused about Morocco the longer I spend here. Like, yesterday in my evening English class, one of the boys told me that if a girl were raped her family would not want anyone to find out because it shames the girl and the family. I was like.....uh........sorry, can you explain that to me? A guy commits a crime, violates the girl, breaks the law, and the girl and her family are shamed? Did I miss something? He told me that the shame on the family is because they allowed her to get into a situation where she could be raped and the shame on the girl is because virginity is everything in this culture. All of my students agreed in that situation that the girl's family would approach the guy's family seeking his hand in marriage. WHATTTTTT??!?!?!?!? You WANT your daughter to marry the rapist?!?!!? Yes. Less shameful. Hmmmmmmm. I don't think my opinion can be put in politically correct and blog appropriate terminology so I will just say that I respectfully disagree.

I also learned on Friday and again yesterday that if a woman's husband dies then she must wear all white for 4 months and 10 days so that everyone will know whether or not she is pregnant with a child from her first husband. I guess I can see that, although I think that DNA testing pretty much eliminates any confusion as far as that is concerned. I don't know how I feel about a woman having to advertise her very personal affairs to the entire world for months though. Particularly since it does not work the other way around.

Yes, yesterday was a very educational class. I knew abortion was illegal but was surprised when my students talked about the frequency with which it occurs in private. We also talked about sex before marriage, and I gave them the statistic that 9 out of 10 Americans have sex before they get married. They asked me how I felt about it and I tried to think of a PC way to say I really don't see a huge problem with it, as long as both people consent. I think my wording was something like...."I respect the fact that people make decisions based on cultural norms, and cultural norms in the US are quite different than cultural norms in Morocco." I know, such BS. I felt like I was writing a paper for junior high English or something.

Yesterday, Ceri, Eddy, and Pete all left....which completely sucks because they were really some of the people that I had been the closest to here. I just feel like everyone is leaving before me!! Which makes Rabat totally hard to handle alone. I am so glad that Janice and Phillipa are still here. Amandine just changed her flight to go back next week so I really will be the last one in Morocco, other than the people that have just arrived.

Alright well I really need to go shower because the weather is ridiculously humid. We went out last night just to get out of the house because even at 11 at night the humidity in the home was really awful. We didnt stay out long though because Amandine was not feeling well and it was La Fete du Throne, which basically just means that is was a national holiday celebrating the day that Mohamed VI became king.

Do anything you want... just don't have fun

Yeah... so the rules have changed in my host family's house...I invited Pete over on Monday to go on the terrace so we could hang out, chat, and study for the GRE. According to my understanding of the rules, it was okay for me to invite anyone that I want over, just as long as I let someone know ahead of time and it was not a boy being invited into my bedroom. So...I told Siham, my host sister, that I wanted to invite a friend on the terrace and she said to go ahead. So Pete and I are on the terrace, mind you, we are like, ten feet or more apart, the door to the terrace is wide open, and I invited Laura up there with us......but half an hour later Siham yells up from the living room that we have to come down because the grandma does not want me on the terrace with a boy. I'm like, okay, fine...I thought it was already agreed to but whatever.....then we go downstairs and the grandma starts yelling at me in Arabic...I understand a very small percentage, but the gist is that apparently I just cannot invite a boy into my house. Right.

So the next morning at breakfast I told Siham that I just wanted to clarify the rules so that no one is getting upset. I say that I think I just cannot have boys over, and if I am going to invite a girl I should let someone know ahead of time...right? Wrong!! Apparently the grandma thinks that there are too many Americans in the house as is, and she is worried about what the neighbors might think if there is a steady stream of friends arriving. So I am just not supposed to invite anyone over....or go out late...or drink...so I'm thinking my options for stress relief and fun have been greatly reduced. GRRRRRRRRRRRR. Anyway, all the other PA interns have been really awesome about inviting me over to their homes, where there does not appear to be quite as strong of a fun vacuum.

On a lighter note, we went to Fez this weekend and I bought a really nice, really pink leather bag. I have no plan as to how I will fit it in my suitcase, but there is no way I could buy anything like it at home for the price I got it here so I will find a way!! We had some good fun as usual on the hotel terrace with a few beverages and some playing cards created by using the back of my GRE flashcards. It was soo hot though, by Sunday afternoon we were just ready to get home. I am already missing the freedom of going anywhere I want and hanging out with girls AND boys. I feel like I'm in kindergarten or something...

Anyway, I have to go because I have to teach a class from 6-9 tonight, and I want to talk about the Beatles. As we all know, my pop culture knowledge leaves something to be desired, and so I think I better do my homework before I attempt to explain who the Beatles were and why they were important.

Before He Cheats

So I just went to lyrics.com to print a copy of the lyrics to "Before He Cheats", since I have the music with me and it is a good activity for class. I was reading through and I am seriously doubting whether or not teaching the song is a good idea......"beach blond tramp" "gonna get lucky" " prolly getting frisky" and "shoot whiskey" just don't exactly seem like the cultural expressions that I want to teach. On the other hand, the vast majority of all American music has either blatant or subtle sexual references, so I am somewhat limited. In addition, I don't know that it is entirely bad for me to give an accurate picture of music in the US. It is not like there are not a million and a half other influences from the Western world. Besides, I am not prepared to buy the 100 percent pious, honest image. With one of the other interns living in a house to which prostitutes are regular visitors, I just do not feel that bad about teaching the phrase " get lucky". Oh, the dilemma.................

We have a little rendezvous with everyone's favorite PA Morocco Director today in a couple hours. I can hardly wait. Actually, I am really excited about it because it is an excuse to hang out with the other interns. There is such a nice group of people here and it is always weird how you feel like you have known people forever after such a short period of time.

Lessons in Culture

This week I have been learning about what is normal for Moroccan women. I had not realized until now that the Moroccan girls really don't wear makeup... I guess it's just not something that I pay attention to all that much. Amandine, the French girl who is staying with the same host family as me, told me that you are not supposed to wear makeup at all when you go out, because you do not want to appear attractive to other men. In fact, unmarried Muslims do not have the right to wear makeup at all. I guess that makes sense if you think about the logic of covering your face and hair and just generally not trying to be sexy. I guess I understand in a way, but then it just seems like there is such disparity in the treatment of sexes. I mean, if the concern is that one sex should not appear tempting to the other sex because that encourages unfaithful behavior, shouldn't men have to cover up as well? Or is it just assumed that men are less physically beautiful and will not be tempting? Or just that women will be more able to resist temptation? I really, really have a hard time accepting the treatment of women as normal, because it is so counterintuitive for me to think of being attractive or sexy as a bad thing. Can you imagine living your whole life without ever getting dressed up and doing your hair or makeup to go out to dinner? It is just so hard to picture.

I also learned that Moroccan girls, and I think just Muslim girls in general, do not have the right to bring a boyfriend to their home. Rather, he comes with his family only when he is prepared to ask for her hand in marriage. One of my students explained this to me and I tried to explain that in my culture it would be considered rude not to invite a boyfriend home within a reasonable amount of time after you have been dating. He looked at me as though I had just told him that World War III had broken out. Not that I really expected dating customs to translate, but I thought I would check it out.

I found out this week that my students actually have to pay to be in my class, even though I am not getting paid. I was not really pleased about that, although I suppose someone has to pay for the electricity and the building and all those minor details. Still.... I decided that in order to give my students more of a chance to speak English with me and NOT pay, I am going to hold "office hours" two days a week in a cafe close to my house. That means that I will not have to pay another taxi trip to the school and back, but it also means that I will be able to really sit down and talk with just a few of the best students. I am trying to think about all the things that I like and dislike about learning languages and take all that into consideration when I teach. I got to talking about the Civil War, Declaration of Independence, and National Anthem the other day, and I would really like to bring those things in to talk about what they mean in American history, but I am not sure where the line is for not discussing politics in class and that is definitely NOT something I want to mess with.

Hash Street

Okay, so no one knosw street names around here, not even the Moroccans. Luckily, we have come up with an alternative naming system. We just give every street a name that we think makes sense. So for example, the street that always smells like fish and has all the fish markets on it= fish street. Simple. So there is main street, souq street, etc. Well, I live on hash street. No, seriously. The corner of my street appears to be weed headquarters for the medina. There are super creepy guys hanging around there all the time, and exchanging money for small plastic bags. In my utter naivete, I did not realize what was going on until someone pointed it out to me the other day. I guess I just thought it was normal for five or more creepy guys to stand on the street corner and make discreet purchases. I know, I know, its sad....

On another note, I have discovered that trying to teach makes you a much better student. Like, I have a new appreciation for the frustration of trying to teach a language class where some students are fluent, some understand nothing, and everyone else is somewhere in between. I know that whatever I try to teach is below some peoples level and above others. And I get so frustrated when I spend so much time preparing for a class and no one bothers to study their notes. It drives me nuts!! I think this summer will make me a much more understanding and appreciative student! On the other hand, there is so much satisfaction when you explain something well and everyone gets it. Today, I took a while to explain ponytails...as in, pony+tail....when everyone finally got it I was so excited!

Last night was Drews last night, so we went to the Kasbah and took pictures. On Saturday we had a little fiesta on the terrace of Helen and Sawsen's house, which was a lot of fun. Overall, it was a really good weekend and a great way to say goodbye to the people leaving.

Everyone is Leaving

So as of Monday, three out of the six TPA interns that were here when I got here have left, and the other three leave next week. Its gonna be really weird to have so many people gone! I feel like half my friends are moving away! Luckily, there are a bunch more people that have come since then so it will not be too empty...the only remotely good thing about it is that I got the girls' leftover bath and beauty products, which, believe me, is realllly exciting! My hair smells ridiculously good right now!

I think I am gonna go see what everyone is up to, and maybe do some studying.

Somewhat Alarmed

Okay, so our whole day has revolved around talking about these supposedly imminent terrorist threats. They are searching backpacks at the entrance to our neighborhood and we have been advised to stay off the main streets, not to travel, and basically not to do anything that could be considered remotely normal. I usually think that people are overreacting to situations like this and continue doing what I was doing. The number of police around town is really scary though...

Shellah, Kasbah, and Souqs

Yesterday was my day off teaching so in the morning I went on a a shopping mission to the souqs in search of a ceramic plate. I know, it will break in the suitcase. I know, it takes up a lot of room. I know, I should wait to buy souvenirs. Don't worry, I did not buy one yet. But I have every intention of doing so because you can buy these amazing hand carved or painted plates for about five dollars. Ayt home I am pretty sure you would pay at least 70 or 80 dollars for the same thing. At 11, Helen, Laura (Laura that lives in my house, not the one with Projects Abroad-she left already) and I went to these Roman ruins called Shellah. It was really beautiful and we took some amazing pictures. The walls and architecture are so intricate...


After lunch, Helen, Sawsen, and I went to the Kasbah to get a drink and see the gardens. Helen helped me study for the GRE because she is ridiculously good at coming up with silly ways to remember weird words. Fortitude= fort (strong) plus attitude =bravery. We stayed there for a while and Sawsen and I attempted to figure out how to get down to the beach from where we were but we kind of just wandered into peoples houses. Oops. There were probably about 3872 adorable little kittens that looked like thy needed to be pampered just lying in the Kasbah gardens. I do not know if they were abandoned or what, but they were way too small to be out on their own. I know my mom would have scooped them all up and turned them into spoiled little princesses, but I did not think that my host family would have appreciated an addition to the dinner table. Alas.

Afterward we wandered around in the souqs, or craft markets, for a while. I didn't buy anything because I am going to buy most of my souvenirs at the end of the trip. I love window shopping though. We eventually went back to Helen and Sawsen's house and Pete came over. After a little internet we headed out to check out a calligraphy shop with Sawsen and look at a few dresses. I realized that "Obvious Statement Syndrome" (the tendency to make overly obvious statements when you are speaking a foreign language for lack of better vocabulary) does NOT actually shut off by itself. When we got to a suitcase store to look at suitcases for Helen, I brilliantly declared, "Oh, here is the suitcase store." I would have been really proud of that statement in French or Spanish or something, but it just doesn't have quite the same effect in English. Pete was not impressed by my ingenious observation.

Anyway, I accidently left my house key at the girls' house, so we are in search of it. I wanted to add more about my classes but I have to run right now because I teach in a bit and I am not done typing up my stuff for class. Okay, I will post more later!!! Bye!!

So I was about to go to bed last night and I was sorting through my things (I don't have a dresser so I just stack stuff on couches) when two very large, very ugly cockroaches came crawling out of my papers. As anyone who has had the pleasure of me freaking out at the sight of a spider can imagine, I was less than thrilled. In fact, it was the third time that I have had cockroaches in my bedroom....but the other times I had just one and it was on the floor. I managed to convince myself that it was without accompaniment both times. Finding two was a bit more disconcerting because I am starting to think there may be a whole family. Or city. Not good.

I decided to accept my student's invitation to have lunch with his family, so after class this morning we tried to get a taxi to his house. Three taxis declined us and I was starting to wonder what was going on when Hafid told me that it was the hour to pray and everyone was going to the mosque. Okay, seriously, that was crazy. Work stops to go pray?? Does that work for doctors too? Like, you are in the middle of a heart surgery and you have to break to go pray? The more I try to understand the more confused I get.

Anyway, Helen and Hafid and I finally got a taxi and arrived at his house, only to discover that this was a huge and formal event. We were welcomed at the door and ushered into the living room. Various members of the family came in and out with trays of pastries, chickens, tea, everything you can imagine. Before we even started eating they brought what looked like a silver teapot with a huge silver urn underneath and brought the handwashing process to us. I could not believe the extent to which the family went to make sure that we were not inconvenienced in any way but rather sat and enjoyed the hospitality. I thought this had to be an exception but they assured me that this type of hospitality is normal with any lunch invitation. I just can't get over the incredible hospitality here...I have not met someone unkind yet. I have never been so spoiled in my life. I am going to have to get someone to help me write a thank you note in Arabic; because the mom doesnt speak French.

I figured it out!!!!

What's that? Am I posting a blog with question marks, commas, capitals, and apostrophes, all from the confort of my host family's house? I think so!!

So my big accomplishment of the day was trying to explain the difference between who and whom to non-native English speakers. I was thinking...jeez, no native speakers even use these correctly... so I spent like 20 minutes talking about direct and indirect objects, subjects, etc... only to conclude by saying that who is generally accepted in place of whom. Oh well. I am destroying the English language little by little.

So yesterday I had-you guessed it- mint tea. With a shopkeeper that I had just met. In some countries, that might be weird. So I spent a few minutes trying to figure out which of the three S words he wanted (sex, sale, or steal) only to discover that he was just a nice guy. He talked about his wife, did not try to sell me anything, and said I should come back for tea again sometime and meet his wife. I was baffled, but in a good way.

So one of my students invited me to have lunch on Friday. Is it inappropriate to accept? I'm not sure about that one. Muslim Friday is like the Christian Sunday, so I definitely don't want to get caught in an awkward situation. At the same time, it is a very nice invitation and one that I think has only good intentions. I am going to sleep on that one.

Okay well I am exhausted but I just wanted to blog about my success on the French keyboard!!!

Mint Tea and Directions across town

So the computer at my host familys house does not let me post blogs...so I am just going to keep a journal and post everythiong once a week.

This weekend I went to Marrakesh with the other interns in the Projects Abroad program. It was very touristy but really an amazing city of markets, snake charmers, palace ruins, mosques, and orange juice stands where you can get TRULY fresh squeezed juice for less than 50 cents. The funniest part of the weekend was when I went with two of the other interns, Pete and Tom, to one of the gardens that was a decent walk from the town center, Djemma el Fna. We wanted to make sure we were going the right way so I asked a police officer in French if we should just keep going straight to get there. The police officer smiled at me and proceeded to explain the directions to Pete in French...apparently women are not capable of understanding complicated things like that....funny thing is, Pete has not taken as much French as I have, so the diirections kind of got lost in translation...

I have been so impressed by the difference in the workload between the men and the women here. The men work all day and come home to relax. The women work all day and come home to , well, work. My host mom gets up, makes breakfast for the three international students and family, cleans, and goes to work. She comes home to help with lunch and then doesnt get back from work until 7 or so at night. She cleans, does laundry, cooks, and helps us with language work until 11 or midnight, and then goes to bed in time to do it all over again a few short hours later.

You know how inviting someone out for coffee or a drink at home is kind of a personal/social invitation? Like, the mailman probably wouldnt invite you out for coffee? Thats not really the case here. Once youve met someone, they are likely to invite you for mint tea at some point. I have been invited by several people...young and old, women and men...within 5 or 10 minutes of meeting them. Its just so friendly....and the tea is amazing. Speaking of friendly, when you shake someones hand here it is polite to touch your heart afterward as a gesture of caring or kindness. I want to do it too but I just feel so silly....

There are actually not too many hardships living in Morocco compared with other places....I have consistently hot water, a nice classroom, lots of good food with enough Coke and french fries thrown in not to miss home, and a washing machine to boot. The only thing I would kill for right now is a couple of good dry erase markers. The ones here dont work well at all so writing vocab words on the board is pretty tricky. Today I resorted to notebook paper and a blue highlmighter. Other than that I lovvvvvvvvveeee my English class. It is really my favorite age and level...like 16-25 year olds who have mostly had a year or two of English. No time gets wasted trying to keep control of the class, everyone knows enough to conduct the class in English, but everyone has a basic enough level that you can make obvious improvements in a short time. I get picked up and dropped off at my taxi stop, and I have a computer for making copies.

The dinner schedule is so crazy for me though, because it does not occur at any hour that could possible be considered normal at home. 10pm dinner would be super early...usually it is more like 11 or so. Its okay though, since there is food around at other times. I would never be able to wait that long without eating in the afternoon.

OH I did acquire a free souvenir in Marrakesh. The store owner of this little jewelry/pottery shop gave me his nuber and my choice of free necklace. I kept the necklace. He told me he wanted to marry me.....I was actually a little insulted that I only got a free nacklace along with the proposal. A friend of mine here got offered 35,000 camels. I mean, seriously...A necklace versus 35,000 camels? Oh well...at least I actually got the necklace without accepting the proposal....

So bathing. As scooping warm water over yourself from a large bucket does not necessarily promote an extraordinarily clean and fresh feeling, a lot of people here go to hammams, or public bath houses. You bring this strange black scrub stuff made from olive oil and you pay a woman to scrub you super clean in a sauna like atmosphere. At least I think thats how it goes. I have not gone yet, for two reasons. One, black globs to not generally make me feel clean. Two, a naked woman scrubbing me clean does not sound like a particularly appealing way to rid myself of grime. The girls here that have gone have raved about it, but I still dont know if I will be making an appearance. I think I might stick to my buckets of water.

What else? I think that was the most important stuff that I have been thinking about. The other Projects Abroad interns are a lot of fun...Tom, Pete, Soussan and Janice are English, Laura is Canadian, Amandine is French, and Drew, Helen, and I are from the US. A few people are leaving Morocco soon, but I think there are a bunch more arriving as well. We played a version of Kings on the terrace of our hotel overlooking the main plaza on Saturday night and indulged in a night -actually a weekend- of English speaking.

Okay well that is it for now-thanks for all the emails/posts/messages...hope everyone else is having a great summer as well!

PS Did you see? I have questions and exclamations in this post!!! I am getting good at this!